For Lawyers

First published in the June 2006 issue of California Lawyer

You’re at a party,bar, book store, police station, restaurant, gym, court house, Whole Foods, coffee place, dry cleaners, car wash, dog park, impound lot, or your shrink’s waiting room, and you strike up a conversation with an attractive person. Inevitably, you’re asked the dreaded question: “What do you do?”

You consider lying. You imagine all the interesting things you could’ve done with your life if only you hadn’t decided to go to law school. You wonder for the millionth time how you could’ve possibly fallen for that “there’s lots of things you can do with a law degree” line. Eventually you shrug and answer “I’m a lawyer.”

Typically, this admission is greeted by one of three responses: (a) “Not another lawyer!”; (b) “Really, my ____ is a lawyer, do you know ____ ?”; or (c) a broad smile where you can just see the person calculating how much money you make in his or her head. No wonder lawyers have so much trouble finding true love.

The world is filled with romantically challenged lawyers. Answer the following ten questions to find out if you’re one of them.

Are you a romantically challenged lawyer?

Progress:

Question 1: You unlock the front door after another long day at the office and you hear "How was your day, dear" You respond with?

Question 2: Where are you most likely to be found on a Sunday afternoon?

Question 3: Your firm has just hired a cute new lawyer (hereinafter "Lawyer L"). You’re thinking?

Question 4: The firm moves Lawyer L into the office next to yours. You?

Question 5: After a few weeks of harmless hallway chit chat, Lawyer L noncommittally suggests that the two of you have lunch together some time. You respond with?

Question 6: For the first time in six months you leave the office before 8 p.m. and you decide to go out to a nearby bar to celebrate. Of course, who's blocking your access to the bartender but Lawyer L. You?

Question 7: It's the night of the firm Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa Party and after a few too many cocktails, you and Lawyer L just happen to stumble out to your respective BMW's at exactly the same time. Lawyer L asks if you have plans for the holidays. You answer?

Question 8: Despite your schedule, Lawyer L's schedule, and your and Lawyer L's mutual acknowledgment that dating a colleague is probably a bad idea, you and Lawyer L do finally manage to go out on a date. At the end of the night you?

Question 9: To both your and Lawyer L's surprise, three months later the two of you are not only still dating, but the relationship is going strong. Then as luck would have it, the Supreme Court issues a new ruling on workplace sexual harassment, which causes a panic among the firm's senior partners, all of whom are married, resulting in their enacting a prohibition on intra-firm dating. You?

Question 10: One year later three Supreme Court Justices retire and the new Court reverses the previous Court’s decision. Your firm responds by rescinding the prohibition on intra-firm dating both because one of the senior partners is now divorced and wants to start dating his secretary, and because no one really followed it anyway. Soon thereafter you overhear the latest firm gossip that Lawyer L is once again unattached. You?

Calculate your score

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If you like your answer, congratulations! You are now armed with self-knowledge. If you don’t like your answer, don’t fret. Take the quiz again, but this time answer differently. If you still don’t like your result, then keep re-taking it until you get the result you want.

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If you’re a Romantically Challenged Lawyer check out this site:

www.lawyersinlove.com
The online dating site for legal professionals